What Are Big Brothers For?
by Bookaholics
Summary: Dean had no idea that one little attempt at helping his baby brother out would lead to so much drama and confusion for the both of them. Wincest Sam/Dean
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own them. I just spend my days thinking of ways to give my fellow fangirls what they're searching for. So here it is, ladies. :)

What Are Big Brothers For?

Dean spent a lot of time waiting for his brother. He always acted all put off and annoyed when he had to take time out of his "busy day" to pick his little brother up from school, but- if he was being honest with himself- he didn't really mind. He actually kind of enjoyed it. He liked sitting in front of Sammy's latest school, his baby parked in the cool shade of the big tree that sat by the road that led to the packed school parking lot. He let the large muscle car idle as he listened for the sound of the bell.

The warm August sun was washing over him, and the heat of it felt good on his face. The feeling always made him think of the first time he took Sammy to the pool. He remembered watching the overjoyed six year old splash around in the shallow end of the community pool. Sammy had looked so cute back then, all curly hair and big brown eyes. Dean had closed his eyes for a few seconds and forced himself to memorize every single sight, sound, smell, and feeling that that particular moment had brought with it.

Dean felt the familiar pang in his chest when he realized for the millionth time that the little Sammy of his memories had vasnished. One day, Dean had turned around and his Sammy had been replaced by a tall, skinny fourteen year old. A fourteen year old who preferred the name "Sam". Dean rolled his eyes at that. Other people might call him Sam, but Dean knew who he really was and he wasn't about to let that person go. No matter how willing and eager his baby brother was to let his Sammy disappear.

He was so caught up in his thoughts of the high school freshman who was trying to take the place of his favorite person that he didn't hear the bell ringing, releasing the students from their prison. He was thinking about Sammy's soft, brown curls when he suddenly heard the passenger side door open. He turned his head in time to see a black and red backpack go sailing over the bench seat of the Impala. It hit the back seat with a loud thud. "I'll call you later!" His brother's voice rang out over the noise of the mass of bodies that had begun streaming out of the huge building.

He turned again to see a girl, a very pretty girl, grinning and waving in their direction. She was about his brother's age with blonde hair, soft skin, and a huge crush on Sam. Dean could see it in the way she was standing- one hip pushed out slightly, back straight, and chest sticking out. He could see it in the way she twirled a lock of that shiny, blonde hair round an round her finger as she continued to grin at Sam. He could see it in the slight blush that graced her pale cheeks. As he glanced at his brother, the wonderfully devious part of his mind came up with the most amazing idea that Dean had ever had.

He felt the car dip ever so slightly under Sam's weight as he climbed into the passenger seat, and turned his whole body to face the lanky teenager. "Hey, De." Sam sighed happily, smiling at his big brother.

Dean's only response was to reach over and fist his hands tightly in the front of Sam's thin t-shirt.

Sam gasped- the violent response had been sudden and unexpected.

Dean watched as his baby brother's eyes went wide and his mouth flew open to either beg for mercy or ask Dean just what the hell he thought he was doing. Dean was guessing that it was the latter, based on the sudden fire that lit up those brown eyes that Dean was constantly losing himself in. But either way it didn't matter. Sam never got the chance to find his voice and force it out of his body, because Dean's lips were on his before he could even form the words in his head.

Dean's eyes were shut tight, but he didn't need to see to know that Sam's eyes had gone even wider at the unholy contact. He could feel Sam's whole body go rigid when he flattened his hands on the surprisingly well toned chest and slid them down to rest against Sam's hips. Dean smiled against Sam's lips when his brother let out a confused squeak as Dean forced his tongue into his mouth.

Sam fought Dean every step of the way, until dean tightened his grip on the bony hips and tugged Sam closer so that he was basically in Dean's lap. Sam waved the white flag and melted into the passionate kiss- finally kissing Dean back with all that he had to give. His hands made their way up Dean's muscular chest to loop around his neck, his wrists resting on Dean's broad shoulders.

Far too soon, they could feel a fire starting in their lungs. They ignored it for as long as they could, until it seemed to consume them entirely. They broke apart gasping for air.

Dean grinned, "Is she looking?"

It took a moment for the words to register in Sam's oxygen deprived brain; but when they did, all he could say was, "What?"

Dean jerked his head backwards, toward the school. Sam tilted his head in order to see over Dean's shoulder. "Yeah," he whispered when he saw Jess standing on the sidewalk, body language and facial expression a clear indication of the pain the most amazing kiss of Sam's life had caused her, "she's looking."

Sam kicked himself for not seeing it sooner. Jess had liked him, how had he missed it? Looking back now, it was obvious. But he should have seen it sooner. He could have saved her from the pain she was currently feeling by letting her down before she'd had the chance to really hope. Why hadn't he had the sense to tell her that he wasn't really into girls _before_ things had started in that direction?

Dean reluctantly pushed Sam away and smiled, "Good."

A/N: Leave me a review if you want more... I have decided to discontinue my story "Unexpected" due to the lack of reviews. When you guys don't give me any feedback, it makes me feel worthless, and like I've disappointed my readers. It hurts not only my very fragile ego, but also my confidence as a writer. So please, let me know how you felt about it- even if the review is just to tell me what I need to improve on. I still love you guys, even if you've stopped loving me.

-Kari


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: They aren't mine... yet. *insert evil laugh here*

Chapter Two

Dean Was smiling as he pulled out onto the main road, but he was sort of freaking out on the inside. _'Oh my God, I can't believe I just did that,'_ he thought, _'I kissed Sam. I freaking _**kissed**_ Sam!' _His lips were still tingling from the contact with Sam's perfect mouth, and he had to fight the urge to reach up and touch them. He idly wondered if his baby brother's lips were still tingling, as well.

His smile morphed into a full on grin as he turned on the radio and the car was filled with the sound of pure awesomeness, otherwise known as Metallica. He couldn't help celebrating a little, he had crossed a major line- and it had felt amazing. Now that he thought about it, it was a line he'd been longing to cross for quite some time. Not only had he finally crossed it, but Sam had crossed it with him- and if Dean wasn't mistaken, which he never was about these things, his brother had enjoyed it just as much as he had.

Dean's celebration was short lived. The grin fell from his face as he cast a glance at the younger boy and found him slouching in his seat, his head against the window, and a pained expression on his face.

Within a matter of seconds, Dean went from being on top of the world- to feeling like the scum of the Earth. "You okay?"

Sam ignored the question, opting instead to turn his eyes to the green and brown blur of the trees flying by his window. He wanted so badly for the Earth to swallow him whole. He couldn't make the thoughts stop. _'It meant nothing. He doesn't want you. He was just trying to help you out.' _Even worse than the thoughts were the feelings. The tingling sensation on his lips, the warmth on his fingertips and hips, and the fire in his chest made it seem like he would never be able to forget; like he'd always be able to feel the ghosts of Dean's touch.

Normally, Sam knew, these feelings would have been a good thing. But he didn't want to feel them. In fact, he would give just about anything to become completely numb from the inside out. They hurt him so much because they felt _so_ good, and because he knew deep down that he would never get to experience them again.

Dean was his brother, and his best friend. Of course, he'd had more than platonic feelings for Dean for a long, long time- but he knew that Dean didn't feel that way for him. How could he? Dean was a ladies' man. A skirt-chasing, womanizing, macho man. There was just no way in Hell that his big brother could_ ever_ be into a guy. That just wasn't who he was, and Sam had come to accept that... until that kiss had shattered his entire world.

For those few brief moments, Sam had allowed himself to believe that Dean could want him that way, and that he did. He had been foolish to do so. That kiss had come and gone so quickly, and it had left him with nothing but broken hopes and the taste of Dean on his tongue.

Sam wanted to die. He might as well have died, because after that kiss... nothing would ever be as good. No one else would _ever_ be able to make the fireworks go off in his head the way that Dean had.

Sam fought the tears the whole way home. But once the Impala came to a stop outside their little rental house of the month and he forced his body to carry him from the car to the front door, they slid down his cheeks two at a time. Without a second look at his brother, Sam went inside and slammed the door behind him.

A/N: So much angst... Don't worry though, I'll make up for it in the next chapter or two... If I get some reviews. :P

-Kari


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